Ugly

I absolutely hate my body, everything about it, inside and out. I hate how my mind works, how it never shuts up, how it always points out the negative features about myself and everyone around me. I hate how I don't have self-control, how I blurt out the stupidest things, which leads me to horrible situations. And I hate how I judge everyone, not out loud, but still. I hate how I see things, I hate how pessimistic I am about the things around me. I hate myself. I completely and utterly hate myself.
I am not comfortable in my own skin. I am not a size 1, nor a size 2. I'm probably a size 200 or larger. I am fat. People call me fat. People only see me as fat. I am that fat girl in the classroom. That fat girl who can't do anything right. That fat girl with fat problems. Fat. Fat. Fat. All I hear is fat. All I see is fat. Everything about me is wrong, and I hate it. I hate myself. I hate my self-esteem issues because people always think I'm looking for attention when all I'm doing is telling the truth, telling how I really see myself. People think I'm fishing for compliments when I am not. Why do people always think that? Never in my life have I ever asked for a compliment, because compliments make me uncomfortable. Because I can never identify which one is a lie and which one is genuine.
I really really really hate myself. I really do. Nothing about me is pretty. My personality, my face, my body, everything. I hate feeling this way, because I can't write properly. Back reading my post right now, and seeing how horrible I write, how incoherent I am, how messy I  think. I hate myself. I have no talent, I am ugly, I am horrible and mean and just ugh. None of your compliments or words of encouragement could change the way I think, I appreciate them, but no. I will always be that ugly girl with the ugly personality. You really don't have to point it out, I already know. You think I don't know anything about my own body? Please.